References: Who to Choose and How to Prepare Them

Most job seekers treat references as an afterthought — a list of names you submit because the application requires it, hoping the person will remember you fondly. That's a mistake. References are an opportunity to shape how a hiring team sees you, and the candidates who use them well have a real edge.

The reference check isn't a formality. Hiring managers and HR teams use it to verify specific claims you've made, probe areas where they have doubts, and get a fuller picture of how you operate. A lukewarm or disorganized reference can cost you an offer even when everything else was strong.

The strongest references are former managers or senior colleagues who can speak specifically to your performance, not just to your character. A reference who says "she's a wonderful person" is far less compelling than one who says "she took over a project that was behind by three weeks and delivered on time by restructuring the workstream and bringing in the right people."

Prioritize people who can speak to your most recent and most relevant work. A reference from a job three roles ago matters less than a reference from your current or most recent position, even if the older relationship is warmer.

Always ask before you list someone. This sounds obvious, but a surprising number of candidates list references without warning them. A reference who's blindsided by a call gives a worse answer than one who was prepared.

Once someone agrees to be your reference, give them context. Tell them what role you're applying for, why you want it, and what you've emphasized in your interviews — the projects you highlighted, the skills you leaned into. The reference call will go better if your reference is reinforcing the same narrative you've built, not telling a different story.

If there are specific things you'd like them to emphasize — a particular project you worked on together, a skill you demonstrated — it's completely appropriate to ask them to bring those up. You're not coaching them to say things that aren't true; you're helping them know what to highlight.

What if you left your last job on difficult terms and can't use your most recent manager? Be upfront about it if it comes up — "we had a difference of opinion about the direction of the team" is better than awkwardly avoiding the question. Have a peer or skip-level manager from that role ready to explain your contributions without the baggage.

What if a reference might say something less than glowing? Ask before listing them: "I'd love to list you as a reference — do you feel you could speak positively about my work?" Most people will tell you honestly if they'd rather not. Better to know now than after the call.